So recently I was reading a post about the various animated Batman incarnations and what made each one good in their own right. As I was reading I came across a quote from the creative minds behind Batman: The Animated Series from the 90s. It basically stated that the cartoon was not going to be campy or high action. Batman wasn’t going to just beat up a bunch of bad guys for 20 minutes. Instead he was going to go back to the roots of the character and focus on detective work, and live up to the title “World’s Greatest Detective”.
Now I personally think that the show failed as a whole in this goal. Several memorable episodes were high action/no real detective work. But my favorite episode stands out as a shining beacon of what the show wanted to be. In it Bruce Wayne puts on face putty, makeup and hair dye to make himself appear homeless. All of this was done to get close to the homeless community and do real detective work. It was an incredible episode that showcased a lot of what I love about Batman.
This got me thinking about the Live Action Batman movies. I don’t believe there has been a truly good Live Action Batman movie to date. Sure a few of them are mediocre movies if you pretend that the guy on screen isn’t Batman, but that kind of defeats the purpose. None of them “feel” like Batman. And it was this line of thinking that made me finally realize why: All of them are trying to paint Batman as an over-the-top, high action, larger-than-life Superhero. He isn’t. Batman is a hero, and a great detective, but he isn’t super or larger-than-life in any way.
In much the same way that I feel it was a mistake to try and be “dark” with 2013’s Man of Steel, I think it’s a huge flaw in your script if Batman is being portrayed as a Superhero. So the following is how I would make a good Live Action Batman movie. (Film makers feel free to rip off this entire post and make this movie. I don’t even need credit.)
First the cast:
Batman – The man cast as Batman needs to be able to do 3 things well. First, he needs to be able to pull of the fake Bruce Wayne, the over-the-top billionaire playboy. I’m talking RDJ’s Tony Stark level rich asshole that the audience loves but the people around him find irritating. Bruce Wayne is Batman’s mask, his way of hiding who he really is, and thus needs to be off-putting to others so as to make him less wanted. Second, he needs to be able to pull of the darkness of Batman. This (contrary to popular belief) does not boil down to a scratchy voice. His voice should be lower pitched than Bruce’s to throw off suspicion, but that’s it. Batman is about fear and dominance over cowardly criminals. Make that part of the act. Third, he needs to be able to slip into the brilliant detective role easily. Batman’s true self is that of the genius detective. He needs to sound as if he knows what he’s talking about, even when the words sound foreign to the actor. He needs to be confident in his speech and not stumble over the script. (I don’t have an ideal actor here, because this role is something I’ve never seen done well before. Plenty of actors can play any one of these parts well, but all three is a stretch and this should be a grueling decision.)
The Riddler – He shouldn’t be funny. Don’t hire a comedian to play the role. The Riddler does crack jokes occasionally, but it’s a dry, intelligent humor. He isn’t goofy, he isn’t a trickster. The Riddler is a brilliant man. He’s a linguist, a mathematician, and a scientist. In much the way that Joker is often referred to as what Batman could have become, The Riddler could have just as easily used his gifts to be a rival detective of Batman’s. He serves as Batman’s intellectual foil. While other villains combat Batman with crazy, violence, or money, The Riddler combats him with intelligence. Hire a serious actor, an actor who can play the calculating villain. (Julian McMahon is a perfect example of an actor who can pull this off, though he might not be the best for the role)
Commissioner Gordon – Yes he needs to be the commissioner. We don’t care about his life before he’s commissioner. (I actually do, but not for a single movie) A cop who’s seen a lot of bad stuff in his time, but isn’t a lost cause yet. (Dan Florek would really shine here, but in honesty there are a few dozen candidates) There isn’t a whole lot to this character, because he is a supporting character and shouldn’t have too much screen time. But he needs to be a good actor because his small amount of screen time is vital to the film.
Bit-Parts – Everyone else in the film needs to be chosen based on how much screen time you plan to give them in future films. (All should be competent actors though) Characters who are important to the Batman mythos but not this story should make small cameos. Not all of them mind you, but three or four would be great. The opening scene is a great place to catch a glimpse of someone who might be The Penguin, or Ra’s al Ghul in a future film. Having mention that a criminal recently caught by the Batman is named Waylon Jones would be a great nod to the larger-than-life side of his rogue’s gallery without actually delving too far into it yet. It should be noted here that Batman does have a larger-than-life side to his enemies. These can be explored in subsequent films, but his introductory movie should be more grounded.
The opening scene should be a party. Not at Wayne Manor, we shouldn’t see that so early. Perhaps at a hotel ballroom, or another rich person’s home. The scene should open on a slew of guests conversing and laughing and generally having a good time. After a minute or two of the general party we focus on a loud boisterous man hitting on a beautiful woman. She pretends to be put off by his advances, but it’s clear he has something she’s interested in (namely his money, but we don’t know that yet). After the exchange he excuses himself and heads to the bathroom. It’s here, as he enters the stall (or perhaps when he’s done), that two more men enter the bathroom and begin talking about something that sounds highly illegal. (What they’re talking about specifically I don’t know, but it has to get the man in the stall’s attention as suspicious.)
The man in the stall peeks under the door and catches a brief glimpse of one of the men. When they leave he follows a few seconds later. He steps out into the party and is approached by people who want to talk to him. He tries to placate them as he looks for his target. It’s here that it’s confirmed that this is indeed Bruce Wayne. He ends up offending those trying to talk to him as he rudely excuses himself and leaves the party. He watches as the man whose face he knows gets in a cab. He listens intently for the location he’s being taken to and then pretends to be doing something else as his excuse for being outside. A phone call on a cell phone works here, but I’d go with the unorthodox Smoke Break. But Batman doesn’t smoke, you say. Maybe, but what if it isn’t a regular cigarette? Maybe it’s a fake cigarette as part of his Bruce Wayne persona. And in today’s age it could be an electronic cigarette that can easily be nothing but water vapor. Remember, everything Bruce Wayne does is an act.
From here the movie can either have him leave to pursue the suspicious character or go back into the party to continue his appearance as Bruce Wayne, depending on where the man was going and if the suspicious act seems urgent. (Parts of this plot are intentionally vague for this post)
The next important scene should be of our villain, Edward Nigma. It should become readily apparent to anyone paying attention that this man’s face was in the opening pan of the party, but not seen for the rest of that scene. He should have in both of his appearances up to this point been wearing a dark suit. It should not be a green suit, he’s passing as a regular person. This scene is important in some way as setting up his big crime later, but the details are flexible. So long as he’s plotting the crime or laying a piece of the riddle as he passes by a random crime scene it works. We just need to be introduced to this man, though we still don’t know his name.
From here Bruce Wayne needs to be in disguise in a shady part of town. He should be recognizable to the audience as the same man, but it different enough that we believe others not recognizing him. He should be in the guise of a two-bit thug. He should be keeping tabs on his suspect. It’s during this scene that he realizes the other man is indeed committing a crime. And as he forces himself (it should be a struggle) to stay out of it while in his disguise, the man gets away with it. Bruce makes a mental note to get him later (noticeable by a determined set of his jaw as he watches the man get away). He slinks away to a nearby alley where his car is parked. (A dingy older car that isn’t out of place.) Here he reaches into the backseat and grabs a black bundle.
The next scene has him on a nearby rooftop looking through electronic binoculars at the crime scene as the cops go through it. He should be able to see the crime scene fairly clearly, as the audience should see what he does here. He can’t go to the crime scene directly because the cops don’t like him, even though that isn’t stated yet the audience can guess. It’s during this scene that he discovers something odd and out of place. Something that for now just plagues him as strange, yet later is revealed to be a clue to Riddler’s riddle.
There should then be a transition scene. Something should be revealed to us that’s important to either Batman or The Riddler. No it isn’t either of their origins. WE DO NOT NEED AN ORIGIN STORY. The only thing that’s important about Batman’s origin story is that he doesn’t like guns and his parents are dead when the movie starts. Nothing else matters in the context of the films. We don’t care which alley his parents were murdered in, or even that they were murdered in the first place. We don’t care about his years of training that made him a badass martial arts fighter. He’s Batman when the film starts, and he’s been Batman for a few years. And unless Batman was present for a villain’s origin, we don’t ever need to see that.
This transition scene is an elusive thing in my mind because so many scenes could fit here and be crucial to the overall plot. But it serves as a branch between Batman overlooking a crime scene and the next time he’s Batman on screen. A scene with Commissioner Gordon could work well here in hindsight.
Because Batman should be present for the next crime. He should witness it in progress and stop it. It’s at this point that he notices another strange clue. Alone it once again confuses him. He should also be still there puzzling about it when the cops show up and he has to beat a hasty retreat.
Now we’re introduced to Wayne Manor, and the camera pans down through the dirt and rock to the Batcave. Now we don’t need the giant penny or the dinosaur set up around him here. (What is that penny even from?) It should be simple, elegant. He should have some sort of computer station, a table that he can use for work, and a staircase that leads out of frame. There should be the hint that something (the Batmobile) is just out of frame in a few shots, but we shouldn’t see it.
Batman, with his cowl off, should be at the table. He should have a sketch or photo of the first clue and the actual second clue should be next to it. He shouldn’t be looking at them as if they’re connected, just that he was working on them both and they’re on the same table. He should be frustrated at their meanings. He shouldn’t figure out that they’re connected yet. (This could be a good place to introduce Alfred if you plan to use him in future movies. He could be someone for Bruce to bounce ideas off of. Though to be honest, this entire film works perfectly fine without him, so it’s really a cameo style appearance.)
Now at some point Bruce Wayne should be forced to make another public appearance, either at his company or another event. It doesn’t have to be at any specific point, but any time from here on works. We need to be reminded of his mask.
When the third unusual clue crosses Batman is when he should realize that they’re connected. He shouldn’t solve the entire thing yet, but he should see the strands weaving them together. Perhaps they spell out a time and day, or a location. A part of something bigger.
We need another scene with E. Nigma now. Now we need to find out his name. Now we need to see him in his green three-piece suit and bowler hat. But not neon green like the comics. A subtle dark green. If he stands out too much he’ll be easy to notice. We need to see him committing a robbery of some sort. The audience needs to witness the entire crime from start to finish and watch as Nigma drops the clue with a practiced hand. We should be anxious to see how Batman solves it, because we already know the solution. The audience should be feeling what Nigma is feeling as Batman goes through the crime scene. (Stealing something from Wayne Enterprises means that Bruce Wayne has unfiltered access to the crime scene, and is a lazy way to go here. The Riddler has no idea Bruce Wayne is Batman and shouldn’t plan on Bruce gaining access to the crime scene.) It should be something that Batman should gain access to before the cops, but not his own company. This could be where those clues up to this point have lead.
The clue (or clues) at The Riddler’s personal crime scene should lead Batman to a final showdown. A battle of wits between him and his adversary. An adversary that he didn’t even realize he had before now. The Riddler knows of the Batman’s exploits and his nose for solving crimes. He knows that Batman is smarter than the cops, which is how he knows Batman isn’t a cop, and he wants to test Batman’s skills. He puts Batman through a set of puzzles and riddles, pushing his on-the-fly deduction skills to the test. In the end, if The Riddler can win then Batman will be captured and unmasked for the world to see. If Batman wins, The Riddler will give himself up to the authorities. But there is a twist. More than Batman’s identity is on the line. If Batman fails, a dozen people will die.
The Riddler should keep his face cloaked in shadow during this process, allowing his suit to be seen as his trademark but not his face. He should not wear a mask. Batman should start with a seemingly easy victory on his hands, but should struggle as the puzzles become harder. At one point he should actually get one of the riddles wrong and The Riddler should cackle with glee at his superior intelligence. (By now he’s been calling himself The Riddler to Batman for a while) This is the turning point. As The Riddler throws a puzzle at Batman that the Caped Crusader thinks unsolvable, Batman remembers something. The first clue, the one the police have. It is the key to solving this puzzle, and that realization is enough for his mind to flash to the other two clues and associate them with other riddles or puzzles up to this point. He even gives the correct answer to the previously failed riddle.
The Riddler eventually accepts defeat. Batman has solved every puzzle, answered every riddle correctly. The Riddler throws down something that looks like a detonator. It’s here that Batman realizes the man he’d been competing against was nearby the whole time. The detonator has the antenna snapped off and a small tag affixed. It has a cryptic set of letters and numbers on it. The Riddler tells Batman that he will not attempt to unmask the World’s Greatest Detective, but because Batman did initially answer a riddle wrong, neither will he turn himself in. He then slips out before Batman can stop him.
How you proceed from here is up to you I suppose, but I feel no need to continue. Wrap up any subplots that are going on and roll credits. But one thing about the credits. You know that point when the credits are slowly fading in and out, and then it transitions to actual rolling credits? That is where one more short scene needs to be. I call this the Mid-credits scene.
We see Mister Nigma sitting at a diningroom table, putting together clues to something. The camera zooms slightly out and we realize it’s a computer monitor and it has text in the lower corner. An address. And next to it is the tag that Batman received in their last encounter. A quick glance makes it clear that the tag is a scramble of the address on the monitor. Police bust in the door and arrest Nigma as the camera pans from the computer monitor to Bruce Wayne smiling smugly at his desk.
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